Thursday, October 15, 2009

Parenting for real

Here's what they don't teach you in all those fancy parenting books:
What do you do with your kids at McDonalds while placing your order and getting the food?
You can't hold the 10 month old and a tray filled with McDonald's goodness.
You can't trust the 4.5 year old to carry the tray filled with the McDonald's goodness (even more so because he was mad that we were at McDonald's and not Chips and Sauce and was only satisfied with McDonalds because they had Bakugans in the happy meal).
What do you do with your kids at Wal-Mart when you have to go to the bathroom (and you have to go really, really bad. partially due to the fact that you forgot that eating anything from McDonald's will necessitate a speedy trip to the bathroom). You can't take your cart into the bathroom. You can't put the 10 month old on the floor because it's so gross. You can't leave the 10 month old in the cart outside the bathroom with your 4.5 year old. It's an age old problem.
These are things they don't tell you at birthing classes. These are important issues that are not addressed in WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING.
It's high time someone wrote a realistic parenting book. One that tells it like it is. One that gives you the morning line-up on Disney channel and Nick Jr. One that tells you that every once in a while it's ok to give your baby that refuses to sleep a dose of Benadryl before bed.
I'm not up for the job. I'm still recovering from my meal at McDonald's. If you've got it in you, let me know. I'll buy a copy.


Jill said...

I am rolling on the floor laughing!!
Maybe we could callaborate?

sjaxn said...

I would so read that book!!! Just 2 weeks ago I was forced to hold Jereme while going to the bathroom at wal-mart and thought sh*t how am I gonna wipe, pull my pants up and wash my hands? Why are there no family restrooms at Wally world?! I can only imagine how much worse it is to have another kid to deal with as well!!

Carie said...

BTDT. When my dh worked up north the older 2 kids and I (the kids were like 6 months and 3) would go up to the McDs in Mattoon cause it was so hot that summer, we had no air, and they had a playland....gas was definately cheaper then....LOL Anyway, here I am in line with a baby in a car seat, a 3 year old, a purse, a diaper bag and this huge tray full of food.....I was so blessed when a woman saw me and sent her dh over to take the tray and open the door to playland for us. Lee was dragging the diaper bag and hanging on my purse and I was carrying the car seat in one hand and the tray (fully loaded) in the other.....after that I wouldn't eat anywhere alone that didn't bring the food to the table. It was a disaster. I was so thankful for that nice man and could tell they were parents :)

Jennifer said...

Oh yes you can get the shopping cart in the restrooms and I've done it more than once! They fit right in the handicap stall. Of course I felt like an idiot but it worked darn it. What about strapping the baby to you with a baby carrier... wouldn't that be a lovely image on the toilet!

Dawn said...

Haha, nice. The man was walking at like 7 months so he would just walk next to me. And with Daelyn, I'm not sure I had the problem. Perhaps I was more trusting then and just plopped her happy little butt in a high chair while I ordered. And yea, that book would rock.