Saturday, May 16, 2009

An ounce of Facebook equals a PINT of cure???

Some of you may know that a few months ago my email account was hacked into. (if you are not aware, call me I will tell you the WHOLE story--it's really good! You won't believe the wacky cast of characters, with some very unexpected guest stars!) Anyhoo, we are very aware of the douchebags who committed this crime, but just to make it a little more interesting, I've got to share this "letter" that I received in the mail today.


Click on the letter to enlarge for your reading pleasure....
WHERE TO BEGIN???????



1. I pretty much think everything is funny. Pretty much everything. A few things I don't think are funny--computer hacking, Priests who molest young boys, anonymous letters that are poorly written and spelled.

2. A "mole in my group". HMMM.... now while I received this letter from an anonymous source, I am more than 100% certain that it was not written by someone in "my group" People in "my group" would never be responsible for such a poorly written item for they would know that they would receive the wrath of Mrs. Bierman (someone who is in "my group").

3. I honestly believe that everything I need to know in life I learned from watching Little House on The Prairie (and John Hughes movies, but that does not translate as well for this post). In this episode, if only Reverend Alden could have been honest with Charles and Almanzo this situation would have never went as far as it has.

4. A question to my blog readers (or those who are part of my "blog world"). Do all of you feel as though you have some sort of an inside track? What IS the inside track? A train track? The high school track (they do leave the lights on all night there, that must be it.) Why does one need the inside track? To illegally hack into my computer? Believe me, I send some funny emails, but no one except Chuck Farley would think they were funny enough to risk prison time over.

5. Being on facebook makes you feel better about this situation? Congratulations. Who knew that was all it took to wash away your sins. I put a friend request out to Blago. He's done some wrong as well, but I am sure that he will be happy to know that facebook can make it ALL better.

6. "Move forward from this pint" (don't worry I'll get to the pint thing) Move forward? Why oh why would I want to? At this point (and that's how you spell it) it is WAY to much fun. I can't wait until the next time "my group" gets together so we can have more fun with this.

7."Move forward from this pint" I assume the writer meant point. Or perhaps they were writing this from jolly ole England. If so, good day. Pee on the loo and smoke a fag. The bangers and mash are almost ready.



Here's the envelope it came in.
The stamp is on the wrong side. Is that how they do it in England?
For future reference, my address is 509 Charles.
FYI, The adress was typed on a seperate piece of paper, cut out, and taped onto the envelope. People in "my group" know how to print on an envelope, or at least an adress label. Next letter I'm hoping for individual letters cut out of magazine and newspaper pages in true psycho fashion.


In closing, I'm starting to think maybe I need a bodyguard.
My e-mail has been hacked into, I am receiving anonymous letters,
and I have what most would consider to be a stalker that drives by my house on a regular basis (what do you think he thinks he is going to see?).
KEVIN COSTNER ARE YOU AVAILABLE???

28 comments:

Aubrey said...

HOLY SHIT!! I'm scared for you. Not because the letter sounds scary, but because it sounds like you got some nut job after you. I might just have to call you and get the funny details of the email hacking incident just to try to make some sense of the letter too.

amberlindemann said...

speaking of pints....

wanna go get one?

we need to plan June's GNO

Michelle F said...

#1. Where is my anonymous letter? Don't the other hacking victims deserve one too? You get all the good stuff!
#2. Don't worry, Almonzo and I are much happier now.

Kuhn Family said...

That is just weird. Wow That took alot of balls. Wow!!! Some people are REALLY messed up.

~Hannah~ said...

I agree with Michelle, where's the rest of us hacking victims letters?

BTW, do you think that maybe someone should email (or call given the risky circumstances of using the world wide web) Jeffrey Dahmer, and let him know that he can now seek the redemption that he has been longing for by simply starting a facebook account?

Tracie said...

this post has made me just about as speechless as thursday's grey's finale. omg.

no words.

hncfarley said...

Oh no, I can't stop the pee from coming......
I am having a flashback.
nine line counselor: "How did it make you feel when he hit you?"
Sarah: "Well, it kinda hurt."
Sorry, I guess you had to be there.

Miss Ashley said...

I just hope this "person" is trying to be dumb. I really think my 2nd graders could write you a better letter. They also know where to put the stamp on an envelop... so either this person has a mind level under a 2nd grader or does a really good job being "dumb"

Sarah, I just hope your biggest fan has more time to write you a letter next time, or maybe "he/she" is to busy trying to figure out your new email password...

keep safe and watch out behind your car when you drive out of the driveway, you may run over your stalker :)

Browningblog said...

I'm an another one you are going to have to tell the whole story to one of these days, I always miss the interesting stuff!
Seriously though, I hope everything is really okay, I think no matter what, this would freak me out- loved the comment about Mrs. Bierman-that was exactly what I was thinking before I read what you wrote!

jlmichl2 said...

to what degree is the "mole"...moley moley moooole...(sorry got sidetracked there, I couldn't help myself...moley) anywho what degree in your group of friends??? 1st degree like see/talk everyday...2nd degree = everyother day or like 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon??? just curious. holy crap maybe I'm the mole....moley moley mole and just don't know at this pint!!!

Betsy R said...

Ok, I know that I have only been back in the hood for a few short months, but if someone is so desperate for attention that they have to hack into someone's email then they really do have no life. And to that I would say eat worms because you are at the bottom of the feeding pool.
Keep blogging away because your blogs have always left me laughing and feeling a little better about the day.

Jamee said...

Are we talking pint of beer or pint of ice cream, because at this point I could use a pint of Girl Scout Thin Mint :))

Sarah D said...

Aubrey--please do call me, it's a good one. Or better yet, you and Grady can come over for a play date!

Amber L.-yes and yes!

Michelle-You really have not got the credit you deserved in this entire mess. People do not realize that you are the puppet master.

Don't kid yourself into thinking you are Laura, we all know you are more of a Nellie.

Hannah--FYI, Jeffrey Dahmer is dead. Perhaps Rush Limbaugh??

Jill Michl--I can see some sort of mole t-shirts in our future.

Kelley L. said...

That is seriously awesome! I like that they've tried to disguise themselves by using spelling and grammar like a 1st grader. Surely no one you know, pacifically in the blob world would have that set of skills, would they?

jodi said...

Newton must be way more exciting than OLney! LOL What the &^%$*% is going on? May the Force be with you!

Colleen said...

Sarah -

I'll tack an extra quarter onto my check for my diaper bag and duffle. Maybe you can take it downtown and have a rat gnaw that mole off your face(book).

Signed,
Buck Melanoma
Moley Russell's wart

Kathryn said...

That letter is golden. You must frame it. I was going to give said-hacker a little props for the ee cummings writing style, but they had to go ruin it by capitalizing the I. Sure seems like they went to a lot of trouble - apparently they think you have some super CSI skills!
And GNO? I'm in! Kelley's gallbladder got in the way of the roller skating idea for last weekend.

Sarah D said...

Hannah, I will add that I heard that Jeff Dahmer beacame a Christian before he died. I always believed that story, but now I wonder if perhaps he had just joined facespace.

~Hannah~ said...

Maybe I'll search him and see if he did become a facespacer. It would be interesting to see what type of pictures he had posted. I'm sure that he would have had a lot in common with the hackers, such as making notes of whose car is in your driveway at what time. But the one difference is, he was smart enough not to go public with this information until after he was caught.

Amber M said...

I'm kind of like Tracie, I'm almost speechless and in AWWW over it. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I will have to call or come see you sometime to get the whole story. Hope things are better from it though.

Karla K said...

I've got to hear the rest of this story.... Holly do you think Stacey ever got the stain out of her carpet from that incident!?

Karla K said...

I've got to hear the rest of this story.... Holly do you think Stacey ever got the stain out of her carpet from that incident!?

Dora Jo said...

Oh Sarah! Happy Monday to you! I can't imagine how miserable your stalker/hacker is??? Misery loves company, so don't let this get you down! Keep having fun with this and maybe this person/people will come to the realization that life can be fun without truly invading other peoples lives. I can't imagine how violated you feel! Oh, and P.S. it is not me, i am not that computer savy and would like to think I can spell better and I OBVIOUSLY know your address:)

Heather said...

Do you want me to send you a bunch of e-mail about correct grammer and etiquette so the next time your mole hacks in he and/or she might learn a little something?

jlmichl2 said...

I had to post again..this is just tooooo good!!!

Colleen - I think I about peed my pants, you are soooo funny!!!

Sarah - you know me I totally would have sent the letter in true psycho fashion (letters cut out of mags and all...maybe even a rabbit boiling on your stove).

As for Dora it would be a prety good cover up to "act" like she doesn't know your address. You might want to have her checked out;).

Amber - always up for a pint...call me!!!

Hannah - I have to admit that I am a little intrigued by the pic you have!!!

Anyone that is scared for Sarah, don't be...I have no problem about taking this "hacker" to the Eaton O.K. Corral!! "Don't hurt my friend!" ha ha love ya sarah..you know I got ur back!!

Ashley and Evan said...

Can we talk about this in great detail during our GNO or is the mole in that group?

Ashley and Evan said...

I can whip out my fancy private investigator kit (Holly and I are in the biz together) and we can get some fingerprints off of the envelope for you. Will I need my night vision goggles for anything because I can bring those too?

Sara B. said...

Sarah,
I really could not believe my eyes when I ready this! I always wondered what your computer hacking investigator meant on your blog! It sounds like someone has way to much time on their hands...