Unanswerable beauty questions

• is black mascara not enough? How can blackest black be any blacker than black?
• why does one need glitter in deodorant? do your armpits really need to sparkle? (if they come out with glitter toilet paper, call me)
• is there really a need for tampon commercials? Talk about a product that will get purchased with or without advertising. We're in a recession. Cut back on your ad dollars and knock a little off the price.
• I realize that congress is busy working on health care reform, but perhaps it is time someone needs to address the problematic hairspray issue. I am lobbying for a universal grading system of hairspray strength. Mega, super, extreme---which has the most hold? Just tell me that and that's the one that I will buy. Why would a person not purchase the hairspray with the most hold? Is that not the reason for hairspray?

There were no questions when you used Aqua Net in the white can. Now that was a guaranteed hard hold. Super, mega, extreme hold.